Hi friends! Wow has it been a while since I’ve written a blog post….I feel like I say that every time the last few posts I’ve written haha. It seems like posts are getting few and far in between, but I guess that is what happens when life changes a lot.
I do miss writing to you all though. Sometimes I feel like there is so much I want to write and share about, and other times I feel like I want to get rid of all my social media…but I do think there can be a happy medium there! The balance of not spending too much time on social media (thank you Apple for the weekly screen time reports) and spending just enough. I’ve been trying to limit my time using my phone and social media. I got rid of the Facebook app and set limits on other apps including Instagram, but man is it easy to hit the “ignore limit” and “remind me in 15 minutes” about 3 times in a row….far surpassing my 30 minute limit for the day…well, you get the picture. I know I’m not the only one, but that doesn’t make it ok. I think we use that excuse a lot of the time- “well, I know I’m not the only one so…” I also think instead of saying “we use that excuse a lot of the time” I need to be saying, “I use that excuse a lot of the time.” Owning up to our own mistakes isn’t easy though, it’s messy.
I’ve been thinking a lot about that word lately: messy.
We tend to not like messy. Messy is what we hide when we have company coming over. Messy is the dishes and the laundry piles. It’s the tear soaked pillows and the mascara stricken face. Messy is little moments of frustration that build up.
We can’t go from A to Z without the messy in between. The messy brings growth. It brings healing.
I know at the time the messy doesn’t feel good. I’m writing this from a place of messy. Messy that I’ve tried to understand the past 2 years. Messy that I thought was fixed, but instead a new kind of messy came when my brother passed away. Messy that I have fought to deny at times and just wish I could go from distraught to understanding in the matter of one day.
But messy isn’t like that.
Jesus loves messy. He comforts messy and holds messy in His hands. He doesn’t try to cover up messy. He goes to the messy. Just think of John 4- Jesus and the Samaritan Woman. He initiated the conversation by asking her to give him a drink. Knowing full and well (no pun intended) she was a Samaritan that Jews do not associate with. And she was an outcast- she went to draw water at the hottest part of the day making sure others weren’t present. Jesus knew her history- that she had had 5 husbands and the man she was with now wasn’t her husband. He knew her messy, but He chose her anyways.
Jesus welcomes messy. He acknowledges it and sits with it for a little while. Then He helps mend the mess. He puts the broken dishes back in their spot. Sure they have some cracks in them and some glue holding them together. Jesus brings beauty from messy.
Wow. I have had parts of what I just wrote in the drafts of my phone for over 1 week. Sitting there, unfinished, and not really knowing what to do with it. I started this post thinking I’d just share with you all pictures from a sunflower field we went to…I even titled the post “Visiting a Sunflower Field in St. Louis.” But when The Lord wants me to share something, He puts it on my heart.